


Robot Rock (but not quite)

by themunak



Series: With Me on That Field [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pokemon, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-01
Updated: 2013-06-01
Packaged: 2017-12-13 14:51:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/825564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themunak/pseuds/themunak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony cant help but grin when the Avengers startle (well, Natasha frowns a little more) because he knows they're hearing an echo instead of JARVIS' usual I-am-everywhere-HAL-ish voice.</p><p>"Right, great, come on down!" He even waves his arms like some kind of crappy game show host but hey he likes the dramatics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Robot Rock (but not quite)

**Author's Note:**

> Yup, more JARVIS just like I promised. I will never get tired of him.

"We don't have much time, Stark."

"Natasha, hey, once you've got a load of what I want to show you all, you're not going to want to leave. No rush."

She raises an eyebrow at him-- and well, the rest of them, sans Thor who's bouncing around in Norse-god-landia doing who-knows-what, all do their own versions of the same thing. Bruce scrubs the side of his face with a hand, Clint sighs, Cap sighs and squints at him, which is a weird thing to see but at least it's not as bad as Leo in Inception.

"Seriously, you guys are all work and no play, whatever happened to team bonding and all tha--"

"Tony, can we- can we just get on with it?" Bruce asks, and his Audino (he thinks it's named after a car but he's not so sure which one) does its 'meep meep' thing and the two of them are really too cute for words. But he shakes himself because well, of course he's got something to show them, otherwise he wouldn't have called all the available Avengers here to the new Stark Tower without reason.

"Right, just a sec-- JARVIS, everything set?"

"Yes Sir. All non-Stark Industries and surveillance devices have been found and deactivated." Because he knows SHIELD's been up and down his tower while JARVIS had been offline thanks to the fucking Mandarin and there's no way in hell that he'd let them know about this. Any of this. He'd even gotten the Wonder Twins to sign a contract to shut their mouths about this.

Tony cant help but grin when the Avengers startle (well, Natasha frowns a little more) because he knows they're hearing an echo instead of JARVIS' usual I-am-everywhere-HAL-ish voice.

"Right, great, come on down!" He even waves his arms like some kind of crappy game show host but hey he likes the dramatics.

JARVIS almost never makes noise whenever he does his little birdie hop across the ground and when he does, every step-hop he makes usually sounds like a key's hitting the floor or ground, like he's made of metal. But whenever Tony or Pepper touch him-- which happens a lot nowadays because apparently JARVIS has stopped being a hikki or whatever the Japanese call it-- he feels like blown glass instead.

Tony amuses himself by watching his boyband's faces and it's pretty hilarious. He has to fight just to not laugh because Clint's face has the biggest 'what the fuck' look ever, Natasha's eyebrows are so close together that anymore and they'd rival Bert's, Steve's looking pretty confused and Bruce is taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. And their Pokémon are downright shocked-- Audino-named-after-a-car lets out a little 'meep beep!' and Steve's Arcanine looks like he doesn't know how to deal.

And yeah. Tony's seriously awesome. "Avengers, JARVIS. JARVIS, say hi for Daddy."

"Good afternoon, Dr. Banner, Captain Rogers, Agent Romanov, Agent Barton."

Awkward silence happens for a while. Well, awkward on the guys' part. Tony's busy savoring the moment. And Bruce, bless his geeky-sometimes-big-and-green heart, is the one to go first.

" _That's_ JARVIS?"

"Did you make him a physical body?" Natasha again.

"Actually I made him."

"Of course you made him." Clint this time. "He's your machine butler and all that creepy HAL crap."

"No, no, don't you see? I didn't make an AI and then build him a robot body-- I _made_ him with... well, you're not going to understand anyway. But I did it! Like the way those ancient civilizations made that golem-thing Pokémon that was all the rage back then. Except JARVIS is _way_ more awesome than any of them because I made him myself." Tony throws his hands into the air for emphasis.

"Thank you, Sir. You're too kind."

"JARVIS is a _Pokémon?_ " And Steve has this mix of confusion, worry and _wary_ in his voice and oops right-- he's remembering that HYDRA had done during its Pokémon experiments way back in the day and Tony's got to nip this one in the bud.

\-- Except JARVIS does it for him, with that oh-so British voice Tony still doesn't know where or how he'd gotten it. "Yes, Captain Rogers. Mr. Stark had written a code into a manufactured body to create me. However, tests show that I have a unique DNA sequence and some organic properties, so you may say I am a living computer. Because of this, I'm also capable of integrating myself within computer systems, which had been one of my primary functions for the past fifteen years, eight months and twenty-six days."

"Christ," Clint mutters. "Stark, only you'd be able to make a digital Pokémon."

"Yeah, I know. It's pretty much par for the course when you're a genius." Tony jogs up to the bar and pours himself a congratulatory drink and offers the others some because they look like they need it, especially Cap, but they refuse. "But yeah, he's pretty much the JARVIS you all know and love-- no new physical body, no new code, though that's really just redundant since he's sentient and can pretty much learn everything you wave at him.

"So yeah. You remember when you've been ribbing me about not having my own Pokémon?" Well, it was mostly Clint because apparently Tony Stark cant even take care of a goldfish. He scoops JARVIS up from the floor and balances him in one hand. "Tada! Tony Stark's got the best damn Pokémon in the world."

Bruce hides a laugh with a cough and Tony winks at him. Natasha rolls her eyes but looks less constipated (oh please let her not be a mind reader or else she'd disembowel him with her two little fingers). Steve still looks a little worried, but he's relaxed now. Clint's just shaking his head.

"Yeah, the best Pokémon if you're into one of those drinking bird things. Or balloon animals," Legolas snorts.

Tony fakes a huge, scandalized gasp and clutches JARVIS to his chest. "Clint Barton! Take that back immediately-- JARVIS has such a delicate ego and he doesn't need that kind of criticism!"

"Your willingness to come to my aid much is appreciated, Sir." JARVIS' voice sounds muffled and when Tony looks down, he sees his Porygon2's head squished against his clavicle.

It's so cute, Tony's having trouble dealing. And props to JARVIS for not squirming around to get away. He's perfectly still save for the movement of his eyes till Tony puts him down on the marble countertop.

And when he does, the floodgates open.

"How come we've never seen you till now?"

"What kind of organic material did you use, Tony?"

"Why are you only telling us about this now?"

"You're not gonna go Terminator on us, are you JARVIS?"

"What's his typing?"

"Can he evolve? Did you program that in too?"

"What species is he?"

"How did you learn to talk?"

"What else can you do aside from being in Tony's computers?"

Tony throws up his hands to dam all the questions. "All right, nope, we're done with Q and A, please be careful with my Pokémon. One, he's a sensitive creature. Two, he's perfect the way he is so he's never getting an evolution. Three, he's pretty badass out on the field and I think electric moves are pretty much his favorite. I didn't call for an interview. I called for a playdate. Go on, JARV, go play with the other kiddies while Daddy has some grown-up talk."

"Of course, Sir." And he sounds so _dry_ when he says that as he steals a packet of dried mangos from the bar, Tony's so damn proud.

Steve's giant goober of an Arcanine is on JARVIS the moment he lands on the floor with a faint 'clink', doing what all dogs do and trying to sniff his butt. ... Which honestly wont work since there's no butt to sniff. But at least he's not actually crushing JARVIS otherwise Tony'd tell Steve to cut it out. Steve's Braviary at least is keeping his distance. Or maybe it's because of the electric thing, since Robin Hood's Swellow doesn't look too keen on getting close to JARVIS either.

Ha.

Bruce's Audino though beeps and pets JARVIS on the head and takes a mango from his packet. The scene is so cute he bets even Spider Queen has feels over it, and he snaps a picture of JARVIS and Mercedes (oh hey, he remembers) on his phone to save it for all eternity.

Actually he snaps a lot of photos, because JARVIS making friends over a pack of dried fruit is pretty much the best thing ever and he's only half-listening to the others when they try to engage him in something JARVIS-related. Or at least the-creation-of-JARVIS-related. But he should really express that privacy and silence is the name of the game here.

"All right, guys I know some of us have SHIELD pretty much watching us twenty-four-seven," with a meaningful look to the Wonder Twins, "But remember what I told you before getting here? What you see what you hear, when you go, leave it here? This is very important."

"Stark, the Director is going to find out sooner or later," Natasha says.

"If he doesn't know by now, he's damn good at keeping it quiet." Tony hisses in a low voice so the Pokémon wont hear. "But I don't want SHIELD getting their hands on JARVIS because they'd keep him and do all kinds of weird shit I don't want him going through-- don't look at me like that, remember the Tesseract."

"You think they would really weaponize a Pokémon?" Steve asks, but Tony can see that he's thinking the same too.

"I don't know about Fury, but I'd bet my entire damn fortune that the guys who ordered the nuke on Manhattan sure will."

He extracts more promises from everybody, and now he knows they're more genuine because they've already met JARVIS.

Tony would do anything to protect JARVIS, and he's gotten the best security for him on the planet-- the Avengers.


End file.
